How Watching a Documentary on Hulu Transformed My Marriage

One thing my husband and I recently tackled was the concept of the mental load in our marriage. It’s a topic that many couples can relate to, and it can really affect the dynamics of a relationship. After discussing it more than once, we realized it was something we needed to address. Our main issue was around the division of household responsibilities – my husband was a bit puzzled about whether he was carrying his fair share of the mental load.

To help us navigate this, we decided to watch the documentary “Fair Play Life” on Hulu. This film, based on Eve Rodsky’s book “Fair Play,” delves into the unpaid labor within heterosexual couples, specifically focusing on the mental load of managing a household and family. We were curious to see if it could give us some insight and understanding.

“Fair Play Life,” released in 2022 in collaboration with Reese Witherspoon’s production company, Hello Sunshine, offers a look at real couples and how they handle the mental load. Watching the film, we could see aspects of our own relationship in the couples featured. While my husband and I already split household tasks fairly evenly, there was still something missing. Why did I still feel overwhelmed despite the equal division of labor?

About 30 minutes into the documentary, my husband suggested we both write down our definitions of the mental load. This exercise opened our eyes to our differing perspectives. For me, the mental load was all about the anticipation and emotional labor that goes into managing a family and home. In contrast, my husband saw it more as the effort put into carrying out tasks.

This discrepancy helped us see where we needed to communicate better and understand each other’s viewpoints. The documentary highlighted the lack of recognition that many men have for the mental load their partners carry. It emphasized the importance of making the invisible tasks visible and acknowledging the emotional burden that comes with them.

After watching “Fair Play Life,” we’ve been making a conscious effort to evolve our approach to the mental load in our marriage. It’s an ongoing process, but we’re committed to understanding and supporting each other better. Communication and empathy are key in navigating the complexities of the mental load within a relationship, and we’re determined to tackle it together as a team.